Cosmetology school is nothing like real school. There are some technical lessons where we sit in a classroom and take notes from powerpoints about different shampoos and scalp treatments. These slides later reappear, verbatim, as questions on the world's easiest exams. Most of our lessons take place on Penelope. She is our first mannequin head (they are all named Penelope by virtue of a neck tattoo/brand name). She has real human hair, which was sold to the Penelope company by people in developing countries. While knowing this kind of makes me feel like I have "white privilege" stamped across my forehead, she functions as incredibly helpful hands-on practice. The Kafkaesque rows of suspended Penelopes at our work stations, Penelopes floating in sinks, and Penelopes popping off their stands in a flurry of tangled hair and brushes have lost their surrealism and become commonplace. Some of us have distinguished our Penelope's with piercings and facial tattoos. My Penelope has a teardrop tattoo surrounding a blue dermal, and a classic "Mom" neck tattoo. This is my girl after our first curling iron lesson:
This week we learned a few different blow-dry techniques, as well as the functions of our various brushes. Since I have been living in a state of cosmetological ignorance for the last 25 years, the results of these techniques seemed more like magic tricks. For example: if you roll up a lock of hair in a round brush and blast it with the cold setting on your dryer for a few seconds, you can achieve big-texas-beauty-pageant-prostitute curls by literally unwinding the hair in a magic wand motion. Once we'd honed our magic on the Penelopes, we got to move on to each other. This part is especially fun because we practice giving head massages during the shampoo. Working on human heads was more nerve-wracking than I had anticipated. Unlike Penelope, my classmates have the capacity to feel pain if I get a brush stuck in a tangled nest of hair. Also, I feel really guilty if I turn a lock of someone's hair into a tangled nest. One time I stabbed my partner in the eye with my fingernail while trying to move his hair out of his eyes, but he was a great sport about it. Overall, our days are pretty fun and the atmosphere is really positive. Everyone mills around looking at each other's work and making encouraging comments about specific technical aspects. The phrase "killin it!" gets thrown around often. I'm quite pleased (and frankly a little surprised) at how much I've enjoyed this first week.
This week we learned a few different blow-dry techniques, as well as the functions of our various brushes. Since I have been living in a state of cosmetological ignorance for the last 25 years, the results of these techniques seemed more like magic tricks. For example: if you roll up a lock of hair in a round brush and blast it with the cold setting on your dryer for a few seconds, you can achieve big-texas-beauty-pageant-prostitute curls by literally unwinding the hair in a magic wand motion. Once we'd honed our magic on the Penelopes, we got to move on to each other. This part is especially fun because we practice giving head massages during the shampoo. Working on human heads was more nerve-wracking than I had anticipated. Unlike Penelope, my classmates have the capacity to feel pain if I get a brush stuck in a tangled nest of hair. Also, I feel really guilty if I turn a lock of someone's hair into a tangled nest. One time I stabbed my partner in the eye with my fingernail while trying to move his hair out of his eyes, but he was a great sport about it. Overall, our days are pretty fun and the atmosphere is really positive. Everyone mills around looking at each other's work and making encouraging comments about specific technical aspects. The phrase "killin it!" gets thrown around often. I'm quite pleased (and frankly a little surprised) at how much I've enjoyed this first week.
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