Today hair school ended with an optional lecture on branding and marketing oneself. I only attended because I had nothing better to do, and I thought it might be funny. It wasn't funny. It only made me feel more like a lost hippie on makeup island. The lecture was given by the most gregarious director-of-something. But she only said "easy peasy" once which was a pleasant surprise.
Actually, two funny things happened during the lecture. The whole two hours focused on customizing your facebook, instagram, and personal website to fit your "brand". Virtual platforms. So when Bubbles asked what we think of when we think of platforms and someone yelled "shoes", I was amused. But my very favorite part of the lecture was when she stuttered over the words "blog post" so it sounded almost exactly like she said "butt plug post".
The lecture covered things like, what is the best time of day to post on social media sites: (Facebook: 1pm and 3pm; Instagram: 7-9am and 5-6pm), and how to come up with a tagline for yourself. A tagline is something obnoxious like "be your best beautiful", and then you're supposed to plaster your hashtagged tagline all over the internet at 8am, 1pm, 3pm, and 5pm like a fucking lunatic. Oh and you're never supposed to swear. I slouched in my seat and prayed she didn't call on me, because the only tagline-like phrases running through my head were along the lines of: "this is not my tribe" and "I don't even know how to wear makeup". I have to keep reminding myself that like any class, or job, or group activity, I have the liberty to decide which elements of this endeavor to take with me, and which ones to simply make fun of in a butt plug post.
Actually, two funny things happened during the lecture. The whole two hours focused on customizing your facebook, instagram, and personal website to fit your "brand". Virtual platforms. So when Bubbles asked what we think of when we think of platforms and someone yelled "shoes", I was amused. But my very favorite part of the lecture was when she stuttered over the words "blog post" so it sounded almost exactly like she said "butt plug post".
The lecture covered things like, what is the best time of day to post on social media sites: (Facebook: 1pm and 3pm; Instagram: 7-9am and 5-6pm), and how to come up with a tagline for yourself. A tagline is something obnoxious like "be your best beautiful", and then you're supposed to plaster your hashtagged tagline all over the internet at 8am, 1pm, 3pm, and 5pm like a fucking lunatic. Oh and you're never supposed to swear. I slouched in my seat and prayed she didn't call on me, because the only tagline-like phrases running through my head were along the lines of: "this is not my tribe" and "I don't even know how to wear makeup". I have to keep reminding myself that like any class, or job, or group activity, I have the liberty to decide which elements of this endeavor to take with me, and which ones to simply make fun of in a butt plug post.
No comments:
Post a Comment